America the Beautiful

If you cross the North Korean border illegally, you get 12 years hard labor.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally, you are detained indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.

If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally, you will be jailed.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally, you may never be heard from again.

If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally, you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.

If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

BUT...

If you cross the U.S. border illegally, you get

1 - A job

2 - A Driver's License

3 - Social Security Card

4 - Welfare

5 - Food Stamps

6 - Credit Cards

7 - Subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house

8 - Free Education

9 - Free Health Care

10 - A lobbyist in Washington

11 - Billions of dollars worth of public documents printed in your language

12 - And the right to carry your country's flag while you protest that you don't get enough respect

God Bless America!

Blinkers Have A Purpose Besides Just Looking Cool?

All of this time, I thought those little blinking lights on the 4 corners of an automobile were just some flashy, new age, tricked out add-ons that you bought at the online after-market car shop! You know, the same place you buy those ridiculously annoying coffee can exhaust pipes that make a car sound like a moped on it's last leg (but more on that at a later time)? Who knew that they had an actual purpose for driver information and overall safety on the road.

Seems as though when you want to make a turn or switch lanes, you're supposed to turn the blinker on in the direction to which you intend to turn...some distance prior to the turn. Now when I first heard this information, I was like "No way man. They're just for show. I don't even like how they look, so I never put mine on." But the more I think about it, it actually makes perfect sense. Wow, letting someone know you're going to cut them off would make that person's life just a little bit easier. What a novel idea.

Personally, I think they should change the name of this auto phenomenon from Blinkers to say, Turn Signals. Maybe that will get people to use them more often.

Left Lane = "Fast Lane" or "Passing Lane" People!

Is it just me or does everyone on the road just suck?! I mean, come on now. The left-most lane on any highway (in the U.S. anyways) is designated the "Fast Lane" or the "Passing Lane". Now, I am no professor or anything, but neither of those designations means that you should drive as slow as humanly possible and not get out of anyone else's way, if you ask me. This has to be one of the most frustrating things I have ever come across in my 20 or so years of driving on the "Jug Handle" filled New Jersey highway system.

Furthermore, there should be a country-wide law that states no Mini Vans of ANY KIND should be allowed to drive in the left lane, WHAT SO EVER! 8 out of 10 times it's these "Family Truckster" drivers that are slowing down the entire highway.

Just move over people. And when I come up your ass looking like I am doing 200 mph (when in actuality I am doing the speed limit, you're just not moving at all), don't look at me in your rear view with that look of disgust...shift your eyes a bit left with that look....IT'S YOU THAT IS THE ASSHOLE! MOVE OVER!